Monday, October 3, 2011

The Decision

I hate my job.  It makes me miserable, and sometimes I go home and cry to myself.  I dread walking into the doors at my workplace everyday, but I have no other option…I need that paycheck every two weeks.  That paycheck is the only way for me to live…

To live? Well, if this is living then life sucks!! Yeah yeah, everyone says you have to play the cards life deals to you, but I demand a re-do!!! Hey, it worked when I was a little girl, my grandfather gave me re-dos all the time when I made the wrong choice playing rummy.  Instead of not picking up that king of spades, I’d go back and pick it up.  Soon, though, I’d realize that it was time for another re-do because instead of doing that, I should have just kept the 8 of diamonds I had because now I had 2 8’s and with that other one I would have won the game. 

I think my grandfather unknowingly really screwed up my mind.  As I got older, I realized that, not only were re-dos not actually something you can do, but asking for one is like asking somebody to go and get you the moon.  It’s impossible. 

Well, fine then, I can’t have a re-do, but what can I do now?  As the saying goes, I must play with the cards dealt to me.  Now, in this hand of Rummy, it’s better for me to cut my losses and start a new sequence rather than just sit here and wait until I can complete this one while the other player gets ahead and wins.  Conclusion?  I’m going to quit my job.

All the rational, logical, and realistic people in my life, basically just my younger brother,  have asked me the most sensible question to ask at this time, “So, do you have another job lined up?”.  My answer? Nope.  Silence.  “Ummm…do you have any money saved up?”.  Money saved up?  Really?  I barely make enough money to pay all my bills, and he’s asking about saving the little bit I have leftover?  Seriously?  Well, my response….nope.  Longer silence.  “Okay, sis, I know you are older than me, and I should respect you and your decisions, but…ARE YOU F****** STUPID?”.  Now, this was definitely not the response I was looking for.  And I’m sure that most other people would realize that he was right, and that maybe coming up with a plan before resigning from the job that gives me the money I need to survive is probably the best idea.  But me? Nope.  The more I talked to him about how I felt about the job, the more I realized how important it was for me to get out ASAP!  The thought of having to wait any longer to submit my resignation made me cringe.  I need to get out, and I must do it now.  If I don’t, then I am just wasting more of my life being unhappy.  I just cannot do that anymore. 

I will resign tomorrow.  I will resign tomorrow.  I will resign tomorrow. 

Now, let’s just hope I actually do.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Basics

It is hard to just state the basics of Hinduism, so here I am just going to give a little "sneak-peak" of the religion, basically the preview.
  • Deity(-ies): Brahman: The Supreme Being
    • Brahman is broken down into 3 main powers:
      • Brahma: The Creator
      • Vishnu: The Preserver
      • Mahesh (also known as Shiva): The Destroyer
    • There are also many other sub-powers to these powers, but I will not go into detail on those right now.  The main concept to grasp is that the Supreme Being, Brahman, is one with nature.  Nature is known to have 3 main powers or abilities.  We are all works of nature's creation, and so are all other living beings and non-living objects on this planet.  Nature preserves all life by providing us with the necessities to live.  Water, food, sunlight...these are all given to us by nature.  Nature also has the power to destroy us.  We just saw how today with the earthquake and tsunami that have destroyed parts of Japan.  
  • Scriptures
    • There are numerous Hindu scriptures which serve many different purposes, but I will choose to focus on one for now: The Upanishads.
      • The Upanishads explain the Hindu philosophy.  The symbolism of AUM is given.  
      • The two main concepts that must be understood are Brahman and Atman. It is not about memorizing the definition of these words but rather about understanding and feeling the meaning.
So, these are the basics for now.  As I said, I am trying to explain Hinduism as simply as possible.  There are many more basics that one should know about Hinduism, but I am sure anybody can google terms and find definitions.  My goal is to find the true-meaning behind all those definitions and terms.  

Brahman: Universal Spirit
Atman: Individual Self

The goal is to bring both of these together.  

First, what exactly do "universal spirt" and "individual self" mean? Next, how do we even begin to bring those together?

That is the journey I am going on.